No Regrets for Kalen
Hi. My name is Kalen, and I am in high school. I want to talk to you about a subject that is very important to me. This subject is chastity. To a lot of people chastity has a negative connotation. They say, “What business do people have to tell me not to have sex? I’ll have sex whenever I want with whoever I choose!” What I want you to understand is that chastity is a very positive, wonderful word. It explains how to use your sexuality to make you the full, complete person you are, without actually having sexual intercourse.
Sexuality is a gift from God- a sacred bond that should be saved for marriage. Sex is a beautiful thing. It symbolizes the tremendous love between two people. When you give yourself to someone, you give everything you were, are, and will be. Few people realize how emotionally involved sex makes you. You are consumed by guilt for having cheated God, your parents, and most importantly, yourself. You are filled with worry about the threat of STD’s and pregnancy. Every choice you make as a young adult, you carry with you for the rest of your life. Why carry around sexual ghosts of your past when you know you can avoid it? I know too many people who have been hurt by premarital sex, some of them being my very close friends. I can never pass judgment on any of them, but I pray that they choose secondary virginity. Although it’s not as good as the real thing, secondary virginity lets you repent to God and spiritually (though not physically) regain your virginity.
Virginity is another word that people try to pass off as being “bad”. Roget’s Thesaurus says these terms were all synonyms of virgin: immaculate, genuine, spotless, clean, clear, unadulterated, chaste, untainted, innocent, guiltless, pure, untouched, modest, maiden, sincere, and unused. These words are also not all feminine. Guys sometimes think virginity is just a girl thing, but God created it for both males and females. I am a firm believer that the best present you can give to your spouse is the gift of yourself. Until the day I marry, I will continue to ask God for the strength and knowledge to keep myself pure. There is a card the REAP Team hands out on retreats. It states:
“Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, those I date, my future spouse and children, that I will always live a chaste life, either as a single person, in religious life, or within a covenant marriage relationship.”
I signed this card on November 8, 1997, and I keep it in my wallet as a constant reminder to myself of God’s love for me. God loves us so much that he gave his life for us, and continues to guide and watch over us. Whenever you need to ask God for the strength to remain pure, say a little prayer. I promise you that He is listening.