I want to live chastely, but don't think I can. Is it really possible?

Dear Heather,

I have not signed my chastity card yet because I am not sure that I can make that promise to myself. As much as I want to and as hard as I am going to try, I don’t want to make myself a promise that I am not so sure I can keep.

Sincerely, Hesitant

Dear Hesitant,

It’s not an easy decision, and living it can often be a great challenge (trust me, I know from experience that the temptation to be impure can be great). However, chastity most certainly CAN be done. Four quick stories…

  1. My sister and I (she is now married w/2 kids) waited-she was 23 when married (dated her now husband for 6 years) and I’m still waiting at 30. Although we both dated, we’ve had enough desire and the help of the Holy Spirit to save ourselves and remain pure.
  2. My friend Ronnie was seriously dating Kirk. He noticed that sex in their relationship was hurting her relationship with God and affecting her in small ways. HE stopped having sex, although he could have continued. He did not want her to be hurt in ANY way. They waited until their wedding night.
  3. Kris, a college friend of mine (and a very good-looking guy), had a naked female friend waiting in his bed one night when he came back from a party. She was ready and willing, and he’s a guy-they’re much more visually tempted than women. He stood at the door and told her to put on her clothes and he’d drive her home. Although he’s been in several serious relationships, he’s still a virgin.
  4. Kurt Warner (NFL player) and his wife, one year before they were married, realized that pre-marital sex was not part of God’s plan, although they had been living together (and having sex) for many months. They still lived together, so he could help with her kids, but refrained from having sex until their wedding night. Although the Catholic Church and we on REAP strongly discourage living together before marriage, we can still find hope in their ability to live chastity.

So, if God can help Kurt and Brenda Warner stay chaste while living together, I think He can help you. Jesus said, “With people it is impossible, but not with God; for all things are possible with God.” Matt 19:26

Heather Gallagher
The REAP Team