How Do I Find a Christian Wife?

How do you find a good Christian wife nowadays that doesn't want sex before marriage?  
And how do you stop the act of masturbation?

Dear Friend-

Thanks for sending your questions to us. If you don’t mind, I’m going to offer you an answer for one question, and a link for the other.

First, let me assure that there are many, many, MANY good Christian men and women out there who have made a commitment to live the virtue of chastity and chosen to save sex for marriage. I know that in our culture, it may seem like no one has decided to wait for their future spouse, but the truth is exactly the opposite. It’s hard to see that, though, when the loudest voices of our culture are saying that sex is no big deal. But let me assure you that I have met many people who are choosing to live in a way that honors themselves, their future spouses, and their God. There are also a lot of people who have chosen chastity after making mistakes in the past, but now live fully committed to the idea of waiting for marriage. And again, there are those who don’t even know about the virtue or its benefits. You could be the person who shares it with them – what an awesome gift you could give someone else!

How to meet or find these people is an age-old question that is a bit harder to answer. The best advice I can give is to do the things that you love to do, and know that along the way you will meet people with the same interests. The best foundations for relationships are friendships, and friendships are built on common interests. If you like sports, join a co-ed league. If you like reading, find a book club. If you like being outdoors, join a wilderness adventure group. I’m not sure where you’re coming from, but most cities have plenty of organizations like this available – it just might take a little searching to find them.

But before you go looking for a spouse… make sure that you’ve gone looking for God. Most people bemoan their singleness, wishing with all their heart that God would just bring them ‘the one’ so they can get married and get on with life. What we often fail to realize is that God is The One, and a relationship with Him is the foundation for everything else in life. Single years are a gift, where a person has time and resources and freedoms that disappear when a commitment is made to marriage. Take advantage of that gift! Use it to its fullest potential, building up your relationship with the Lord, and in His time, if He’s chosen it for you, He will bring you a spouse. Chances are you’ll meet her on the mission field – simply by serving the Lord, you’ll meet someone whose heart is buried in her God and His work, and you’ll have to know your way around His heart to get to hers. Trust that your God is a loving Father who knows how to give good gifts, and ask Him to help you see singleness as a gift with purpose.

For your second question, about masturbation, I’d like to share a link with you to an article on our website about that issue. I hope and pray that it will be helpful to anyone who is struggling. You can find that article here – how to stop masturbating

Thanks for sending your questions to us. We hope that our answers will be helpful. Know that you are always in our prayers – and if you wouldn’t mind, please keep us in yours!

The REAP Team Staff