Duct Tape Analogy
Duct Tape Analogy for Chastity
Get a guy volunteer...(ideally one with hairy arms, but don't let him know that's why he's chosen)
When you apply the duct tape (see below) make sure you use a short piece of tape (3 inches long or so) and that you put it horizontally on his arm, not up and down. When you tear, pull from the outside in (toward his body, not away).
Emotional Bond & Marriage:
We all know sex is a physical act, right? Well the coolest thing about sex that few people know is that it's also highly emotional, mental and very spiritual. God created sex to be an amazing thing between husband and wife, something that bonds them together, not just physically, but emotionally (gift of the body, heart, mind & soul). (place the duct tape on his arm) This duct tape on _____'s arm represents that emotional bond that takes place when two people have sex (PLEASE stress that duct tape represents EMOTIONAL bond). Their hearts are so close together when they share this intimate act. Sex has been called, "the superglue of the heart". In marriage, this extreme emotional closeness is a very good thing (rub the duct tape into the arm really well). It brings husband and wife very close together in their hearts - helps them get through good times and bad.
Outside Marriage, Sex's Emotional Bond:
However, outside of marriage, this bond still occurs. The emotional bond is a part of sex, it's always present, whether we like it or not. But, this extremely tight emotional bond is not such a good thing outside of marriage. Here's why...
(DO NOT remove the duct tape until you describe the break-up of the relationship)
So let's say that I'm 16 years old (use yourself as an example, not the volunteer) and I choose to ignore God's plan for sex and chastity and decide that since my boyfriend and I are in love and we're a serious couple, we'll have sex. (rub the duct tape in even more, as you continue to talk). Things are going real well, are hearts are real close - like this duct tape here - and then...he starts to get on my nerves, so, we break up. (quickly tear off the tape)
Heartache & Pain of breaking the emotional bond:
Breaking the emotional bond of sex can be painful. People have suffered much heartache from the loss of this bond. (can give real-life example here) You loose part of yourself that you can't have back.
More relationship examples:
-However, after my heartache, senior year, I meet Mr. Wonderful, much better than the first guy, so after dating for a while, we have sex (put the tape back on the same part of the arm). But, then we go to different colleges and break up. (tear off the tape) This time, it didn't hurt that bad, did it?
-Then I meet...we fall in love and have sex...(put tape back on)
Then we break up (tear off)...it didn't hurt my heart very much this time. It's easy to move on to next guy.
-Another partner...(put tape back on)
Another break up (tear off)
(continue this cycle until you feel the duct tape is very dull. Don't be flippant, however, like you'll sleep with anyone. With each example, talk about how you fell in love - that you're not just "sleeping around." Done right, this analogy works for even someone who's only had sex once, it shouldn't just be about "not being a slut".)
Wedding Night: (done once duct tape is extremely dull)
I meet the man of my dreams and we fall madly in love. On our wedding night, I want our hearts to be so close and connected, but when we have sex, it's just physical. The emotional bond that was meant to be so strong with sex is so dull. (ask the volunteer)...Does it stick anymore? (after they say no, give him applause and tell him to take a seat).
Our world wants us to believe that physical sex is the best you can get - just physical pleasure, that's it. People have become so dull with sex that they can do it with anyone at anytime...it's no big deal, just a physical thing. Think of TV and movies, think of all the "stars" who have sex with even multiple people in one music video. It might be fun to look at, but their sexual expression is pathetically shallow - it's cold, heart-less, empty, dull. There's nothing left in their heart to give. Too many people bring this view of sex into marriage - it's just a physical thing - and that's so sad that we've settled in our world.
So, if you're interested in great sex in marriage - it's more than just physical. God wants you to have more than this (Hold up the duct tape) - for sex to be a powerful bond, full of passion - heart, mind and soul. He doesn't want the bond and the power of sex to be diminished even a little bit, even once. You deserve sex that includes an incredible experience - everything; nothing less. Don't settle for anything but the best.